Forget FuckBoys, Fuckgals are Worse

It’s been ages since I last wrote (Apologies to all the people that actually take their sweet time to read my nonsensical musings. I love y’all. God bless) . But I am now back like a mgongo. And with so much zeal, my fingers are literally on fiiiiire! *Insert the “ita wazima moto” remix*


Well, most people have been falsely accusing me of daunting fuckboys and being on their case way too much. Today we are gonna  talk about fuckgals. Yes, if “nibuyie” is a common word in your vocabulary then you are well on your way to becoming a fuckgal.

Fuckgals are worse than Ebola and Al Shabaab combined. They are girls that make you feel ashamed of the vagina wielding species. Girls with no ambition whatsoever. All their conversations revolve about which boy bought them what, which boy bought them KFC chicken and where Brayo will take them for turn up on Friday night.

You will find Fuckgals walking in groups of five. They’ll be most likely wearing bright USA flag or Tribal print tight with crop tops and neon rubber shoes, most often than not the shoes will be purple or pink. Fuckgals have a thing for chunky chains, pendant necklaces and lipstick that’s a tad bit too bright for their complexion (I’m a victim of this last bit). Fuckgals have this signature “aki woiye” voice and hearing them laugh will make your ears bleed.

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The official fuckgal uniform

Their life goals are gauged against absurd standards that’ll make their mothers weep. They care about non-issues like their “eyebrows”, nail polish or phone covers being on fleek.  Fuckgals think that relationship goals are all about taking photos holding hands with their guy (most likely a fuckboy too) and posting their lunch and dinner dates on IG. They are quick to proclaim the “I love you to the moon and back” statement to every single muse in their lives. (We all know how long it takes for a woman to actually “love” a man and mean it)

Fuckgals are the type to come to class to “chill” and while time away on their phones. They are quick to skive classes for an IMAX movie offer. They consider attending events that have the potential to mould them into quality women lame and boring. Fuckgals are the type to worry more about their image rather than what they have to offer. Anything discussion that does not revolve around shoes, bags, dresses and celebrity gossip is a “non-issue” for them.

A fuckgal will try too hard to impress the man she’s dating. Going out of her way to do stupid requests in the name of “ I love him” . They forget that these dudes have no commitment phobics who just wanna tap and run.

If you see a bit of yourself here, then you’re probably a fuckgal. You need to ladynize yourself. Feminists didn’t struggle to fight for women liberation so that you can drag the female generation 10 decades back. There’s something beautiful about a woman who’s got her life in order when it comes to the career, social and personal development spheres. Be about something. Don’t be complainibg about fuckboys when you are a fuckgal yourself.

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36 thoughts on “Forget FuckBoys, Fuckgals are Worse

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  1. tribal print tights and neon shoes….as you decribed this, I could clearly see them at that stretch between Jeevanjee and the new Bata. I swear, pin point description. Nice work

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  2. It not what or who, it a matter of how. Its a nice piece ther Canduh, every journey starts with a step, keep going, no.limits to what you can do, JUST BE WHO YOU ARE,advice……thank you for the master piece

    Like

  3. I totally agree with you tht a gyal asking for something from a guy thts totally not ryt.I hate such and there is ths thing tht wen he gives u he expect favors…..i have met such and it didnt sit right with me.Well i love myself too much to be a fuckgyal…..guess what we gyals need is to knw what exactly we want and spell it out.Otherwise nice work

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  4. Nice Piece Canduh.”They are girls that make you feel
    ashamed of the vagina wielding species. “I thought I was the only one who felt embarassed when I see such girls! Never been here but looks like I will be visiting here often.

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  5. this is so sad, pitting women against each other, slut-shaming a particular demographic to make yourself and women you deem “quality women” feel better about themselves.. whatever it is you’re doing you are not fixing the moral fibre of this lost generation. if you see your fellow human being being unwise, teach them your wisdom or put them in a position to teach themselves. This high-handed, selective feminism is worse than patriarchy,Its poorly disguised misogyny.

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  6. this is so sad, pitting women against each other, slut-shaming a particular demographic to make yourself and women you deem “quality women” feel better about themselves. whatever it is you’re doing you are not fixing the moral fibre of this lost generation. if you see your fellow human being being unwise, teach them your wisdom or put them in a position to teach themselves. This high-handed, selective feminism is worse than patriarchy,Its poorly disguised misogyny.

    Like

  7. *nibuyie* seriously… is this how you pinpoint a fuckgal…too shallow… let’s be frank…our today’s relationships dwell with what a man can provide for them…”vinyonyi” as I call em …it is in this respect that I would suggest you specialize on this topic lest people like me start believing that every girl whom you have to treat…is in fact a fuckgal…

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    1. If a girl has to ask for stuff, then she’s probably not worth her salt. A man is naturally inclined to provide and real women need not even ask. My point was, there is no pride in the “nibuyie” statement

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  8. This is nothing but trash. Your writing skills are very poor and the quality of your content is below pedestrian. Can you write just one post that shows you have ever read a book that was intellectually stimulating?

    In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt: “Great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, small minds discuss people.”

    Don’t take this negatively I just feel that you really need to do more.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. LOL, how about you start your own blog so that you can go about writing the perfect content. This is my blog, and as such, I can write whatever the heck I want. Didn’t you see the disclaimer at the top? Furthermore, no one’s forcing you to be here hun, there are a million and one blogs outchea. So don’t come telling me what or what not to write on MY blog. Alright?

      Like

  9. Leah Kanda,

    Amazing piece calling a spade as it is. i would suggest alittle conservation on the harsh term ie f*# girls for general reading.
    All in all retrospect above. i commend you on how passionately you brought to light this important issues that are vital in determing Growth and development in most aspects of peoples lives.
    Point of reflection for those that have a bit or all of what you have mentioned.

    kudos again

    fromer classmet mikindani primary

    A E

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I like the master piece…!! Heheh ill always distant ma self from thiz fuck gials… for how long will they mature up ghoshh

    Like

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