10 Signs You’re a Twitter Addict

1.Your Followers Feature in your dreams: if at any one point in your life you dream of your followers, welcome to the Twitter Addicts Club

2. Calling people by their handles : ever walked on the streets in town minding your own bee’s~wax when someone out of the blue just shouts your twitter handle?? Well, if not you’re probably doing Twitter wrong and should relocate back to Facebook. If you’re the guy calling people by their handles, TAC is here for you.

3. If Safaricom’s “Your daily data bundle is below 2MBs” message gives you a mini heart attack: all citizen’s of the internet relate to this, moreso if you happen to tweet via the bundle guzzlers that are Twitter for Android and Tweeetcaster. Take heart, Safaricom now have that 1.5GB bundle that comes with free night bundle for 2weeks at only 1000bob (FYI: this is not sponsored)

4. If you fall into mild depression once people fail to RT your awesome tweet: ever thought of a wordplay so hard and then people failed to see the awesomeness in it by failing to RT?? It sucks, i don’t blame niggas for creating parodies just to RT themselves.

5. If you receive texts from pals informing you to login coz there’s a roast on the TL: need I elaborate any further that you and your pals are a bunch of addicts that only the sky spirits can salvage??

6: Tweeting at Events: Are you always that guy at a bash wielding a charger or USB cable looking for a socket just so you can tweet about how much fun you are having?? Have you recently invested in a portable charging device just so you can tweet while javving?? You my friend are a full blown addict.

7. Mentions Savages alias Attention Whores: if you are one of those tweeps who tweet ‘mention traps’ just so you can have something to RT then you are a full blown addict. These mention traps include deliberate grammar errors and typos, and tweeting controversial things that are bound to rouse commotion. I’m not saying you are idle but you clearly need a life *dodges bullets*

8. Team Insomnia : there are those tweeps whom you’ll always find online for some weird reason, be it at 6am in the morning or at midnight. One wonders just how much data bundles they have, perhaps they work at Safaricom or something…or maybe they are witches or nightrunners. Who knows-_- it might be sorcery and we are here blaming Twitter addiction for your insomnia.

9. Twitter Cliques : as with any social gathering, twitter also hss it’s cliques. If you have been absorbed into one recently and suddenly your tweets have that ‘Twitter clique’ vibe written all over it then you my sister/ brother need help. Snap back to reality, it’s all an illusion.

10. You keep track of Twitter Drama: now there’s that special breed of tweeps that are always in the know with regards to Twitter drama and who got roasted back in 2012 but don’t remember the name of the last guy/chic they had a relationship with. Need i say you need to see a doctor about your addiction??

NB: i offer therapy sessions and advise on how to get rid of your addiction. Book your appointments @500 bab only

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