Remember how back when we were mere children and the only reference about love we could give were the Cinderella and Beauty and the beast kind of fairy tales? Love wasn’t a complex thing to explain, you just had to find prince/ princess charming and voila! You would fall head over heels in love, have a flamboyant wedding and get two chubby kids to love and live happily ever after in a cottage in the woods.
With growing up came the stark reality, there was never such a thing. What with divorces and domestic violence everywhere? What happened to the beautiful fairy tale love? Surely, things weren’t supposed to turn out this way. All the dreams one had of ever venturing into romance were crushed before they could bud by parents who were not ready to have one of their children get baptized ‘immoral’ because of having a child out of wedlock. Teenage romance led to sexual temptations and sex was something one dared not even think about. And faithfully, the parent’s dogma was upheld: none dared against it. Love was a dangerous portion that only the strong hearted were willing to venture into.
But now, a legal adult, the complexity of the thing called love still baffles me. Not knowing the exact role one is supposed to play brings out all the confusion within me. How do you now start living, knowing that you are no longer a single entity but have someone else to put into consideration, sort of like an invisible Siamese twin. Sometimes I wish I could revert to the old days of our great grandparents where at least I could be prepared for the great responsibility of bearing a relationship: some guidance would clear things up a bit.
Well, here I am, a confused lady, trying to imagine how you are. Will you be the all, well built and handsome type that every lady envisioned? Are you in a crazed up love affair with another female? How experienced are you in this sector of love?? At night I can’t help but wonder whether you are out in a club, rubbing you genitals against the back of a well endowed woman or you are in your bed thinking about me. I just hope you won’t come as shocking surprise. What I mean is that, it would suck to discover that the person I have groomed myself so well for, turns out to be an alcoholic, a smoker or a reckless man with no manners. Every day, I cross my fingers, hoping against all hopes that you will be worth it in the long run, that you are not the sort who prefers the modern woman for I am a bit old fashioned myself. Despite all this, I know that when the time finally comes for us to tie the knot, you shall be assured of my utmost love and loyalty…so long as you return the favour I equal measure of course.
All this is a gamble, you may or may not turn out to be the an of my dreams, the person that I have envisioned to end up with… but whichever side the coin falls on, I know we shall work out. For now, I hope you are taking your studies seriously or working on some future investments, doing some regular exercise and hitting the gym. Much as I will love you unconditionally, that future house wont buy itself, neither will the money for shopping grow on trees nor your abs grow themselves….till the engagement ring announces our marriage,